Category Archives: Humor

Unexpected outcomes

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Sometimes I just get this crazy obsession for a certain foods or spices. Today it was for Thai food, it’d been at least two weeks since I had had a meal from my favorite local spot. It was a hidden gem I’d run to and was always amazing. So excitingly, I load up the kids and we are on our way for the most delicious Thai food. I didn’t care if the kids were arguing or my 11 year old feels she is the enforcer and boss of my 6 year old.  Today, I was not going to scream “Stop” a million times. Today was my treat! Today would include delicious food porn on my blog, it will not be crazy!

As we arrived and parked, I made sure the rules were clear, “BE good, NO fighting, mommy needs to be fed!” Walking towards the door something was off and they appeared closed. From my side, my little man Peter says, “Mom, I’m pretty sure they are closed for good” And sure enough, a real estate sign, It was closed forever.  Then the kids had a brilliant idea, “Mom, let’s go to your favorite Korean restaurant.”

“Yes!” That will do, so on the interstate we go, if you’re not familiar with Northern Virginia traffic consider yourself blessed. I-95 is hell going south or north on any given day, but I’m determined to eat out and now it’s just painful listening to the kids argue. “MOM!, make her give me to poop emoji pillow back.” “MOM! I didn’t touch him” and so on until we reach the exit.  As we pull into the parking lot to my favorite Korean restaurant something isn’t right and this time I spot the sign immediately, closed and another real estate sign. I lay me head on the wheel, quietly I say “Dammit, dammit, dammit!”

Apparently, not quite enough. Out of my Peter 6 year old mouth, “Mom, Chuck E Cheese now serves beer and wine” Did my kid just tell me the germ factory served alcohol? How did I not know they served alcohol? Heck, I know where I’ll have my next birthday, maybe even my 40th in many, many years to come, I’ve been 29-35 for several years. I could only laugh that my kids thought that I would get them pizza or the fact they knew Chucky Cheese was near the Korean restaurant. My kids had manipulated me into going to Chucky E Cheese with the suggestion they now serve alcohol.

Yes, I’m that mom drinking a beer at Chuck E Cheese getting her Chuck E Cheese photo ID’s made, playing games with no mercy before noon. Before you judge me, I drank one beer and kicked little kid ass for over an hour. I may have cheated and swiped some tickets from the little people. Just the ones who didn’t pay attention, life lesson kids, pay attention to the crazy lady. But overall, I got a squirt gun, sticky slappy hand thing, some silly puddy, and woopie cushion. All these these things are part of the plan for manic black cat of darkness revenge. You can use you imagination, but two can at play “sniper” cat, the game of surprise attack cat! It only cost me a little over $100 to eat and play games…..totally worth it for the entire family!

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Yes…..I had been drinking

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Yes…..I had been drinking

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Seriously autocorrect autocorrected me four times before I could even post last night so I gave up and passed out.

Apparently, I delayed posting and saved it as a draft. It was embarrassing funny and trust me I saved the world from my extreme crazy. I deleted it, but my rantings and extreme love affair with Hemingway made me laugh out loud. The planning of my scheme to drive to key west and steal a couple five finger Hemingway cats. Then a realization, why am I so damn muddy in my kitchen. Then a sudden craving for McDonald’s, but I’d have to Uber so I gave up on the Big Mac.

All I know is I made it to bed with a trail of my clothing and tears, up three stories. I blew off some much needed steam, wrote a blog post about cats and love, and at some point I was falling down outside in the rain. Once in a blue moon we all need to howl at the moon. I think I actually did that last night.

I guess the point as my husband says, “It’s like the bad kid in church, it’s funny unless you own it” and I’m never drinking again.

Oh….almost forgot, the picture attached to this post was the one I put there last night. Haven’t a clue why or what the hell I was thinking, but it was thought provoking this evening so I left it on the post….your welcome.