Falling in love with the Moon

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“Love is a serious mental disease.”

— Plato

Some times, I do like to write a bit about those little things off the wall. Tonight, it’s really obsession, falling in love and also of the idea of the unreachable goal. I have fallen in love with the moon. I’ve fallen in love with things that burn me.

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I speak of unreachable goals, because some may argue all goals are achievable. It certainly not true, but worth ever second to try to reach the moon. Love for some may seem unreachable, but it’s achievable. Some things are worth the chase, worth the wait, and certainly worth the risk.

I read blog and books now everyday, now obsessively. I set aside a few hours and really get to be inside others peoples minds for that time. A few, I’ve really fallen in love with as they write and post on blogs, others in books, I’ve started. I love writers and poets. I have fallen in love with dead authors and have this fantasy of them writing about me, because as to quote Mik Everett, “If a writer falls in love with you, you can never die.” Maybe I never died and live as a character in my classics. Maybe a muse, an inspiration for a character in a classic. I love the writers and the poets. I’ve formed an obsession with the simple and the complex.

“You don’t love because: you love despite; not for the virtues, but despite the faults.” William Faulkner

And no matter what, I shall end with a classic story and movie quote.

“Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it for a while.”
— The Princess Bride

I am certain, I’ve touch the moon. It was once unreachable.

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About Musings of a mad woman

“Mental labels don’t define who I am, time and aging only gets me closer to those I love, will love, and have loved” ~ S.L. Cato I’ve battle Bipolar disorder for at least 15+ years, toss in a couple more labels I’ve collected such as generalized anxiety disorder PTSD. This battle is pretty amazing and out of this world and at times a dark rollercoaster ride. The medication, the manic episodes, and mania can be pretty humorous. The hypersexuality, drugs, anxiety, depression, ghosts, and parenting. I’ve certainly felt the sting of the “crazy” stigma, but I’m here today. Bipolar is my superpower. I hope by sharing my musings it helps others understand the labels situation whispered behind closed doors. Please feel free to share my stories, rantings and musings. Read more about me in my post "Who is the Mad Woman"

14 responses »

  1. “…some may argue all goals are achievable. It certainly not true” It drives me crazy when I hear someone say “You can accomplish anything if you believe.” That is definitely not true. I know that’s not the full gist of what you’re writing, it just struck a cord with me. Great post. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  2. “If a writer falls in love with you, you can never die.”

    I love this, but had never honestly considered it, mainly because I’ve always considered writing other people more like stealing than anything as noble as providing immortality. That being said I think that that lust for immortality is what drives a lot of writer’s to create to begin with, but then maybe that’s just me.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. even more to add to my original comment.
    i have a big backpiece, i’m working on getting some good photos of me and my tattoos. luckily as a ‘photographer’ i have the means to do this on my own.

    whiskey. ’nuff said.

    i have a strange love affair with the 20’s and 30’s. Dorothy Parker is my spirit animal i swear. i have about a dozen journals about the place. many are totally full, others are sort of chaotic and have pages ripped out. i happen to have one here at my desk and one on my nightstand. i miss writing letters so i try to whenever i feel more detached from someone close than i would like. i use my vintage typewriter. it works like it is broken and i love that character and charm of it.

    unless i say otherwise or make something private i am an open book. share whatever you like. i’m flattered at the thought. i’m as much a thief as an escape artist. i see or hear something i like and i take it on. imitation is the sincerest form of flattery is is not?

    ~every way to smile forget~

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Those are really very kind words-thank you very much. I was so tired of hiding my illness that I needed an outlet. I absolutely have no problem with you referencing my comment. The suggestion is a nice compliment. As for the book about Marciano, what I loved about it the most is that his boxing skills were mediocre, but he worked extremely hard and never gave up (That’s what I took most from the book). The only pro boxing heavy weight champion to go undefeated 40-0. He retired the championship belt undefeated. I intend to do the same with my illness.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I have always been interested in the biography of people. My favorite biography that I read is that of the former boxing champion Rocky Marciano. Since I have started blogging, like you, I have come to enjoy reading about “ordinary people”. It’s more fascinating and real

    Liked by 2 people

    • It’s like absorbing a piece of that person. I love it but may seem a bit nutty at time with the randomness of my blogs. Sometime my favorites are the really young bloggers or those who are old and write about eras I relate and feel a connection with on a deeper level. Thank you for reading. I really appreciate it.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. omigosh. i cannot make my comment not “anonymous” i will try something else and hope this one works so you can delete the duplicates.

    i cannot even think of the words to explain what is going on in my brain and soul while and after reading this.
    *disclaimer* i suspect this will not be a short comment

    much of the time i am too manic or have too many things i need to do to really give the blogs i follow the attention i would like. i’ll admit it, sometimes i will only squeeze one in because the title gets my attention.
    this is where things started to get eerie while reading your post.
    i opened up my email and decided i was going to read at least one blog i follow everyday. with the goal being to keep up with them all eventually. i need to read more, like i used to. i used to spend hours and hours reading. i realized last night that being dependent on my iPad for my books and comics has started to add to my decrease in reading. i don’t have anything on it right now that i haven’t already read. i used to like re-reading things but since my lung disease diagnosis i have a different perspective on many things and one of the biggest is making the most of my time. so i want to only re-read my very favorites when they come calling wanting me to visit. so last night i skimmed my bookshelf after going through the few tangible comics i have (i had already read them on the damn ipad, i miss the feel and smell of a comic book, esp a new one) i have a whole shelf of poetry and i grabbed a compilation book of various themes and a slim book of love quotations just to have by the bed for when i’m too tired too really fill up and soak in some good poems.

    oh, the very first thing that really got my attention was the photo you posted at the top. i love it and it reminds me so much of my favorite painter, Jack Vetrianno. I can see that painted by him with a great Leonard Cohen song as the title.

    the other thing that REALLY got me was the fantasy of writers writing about you. it made me think simultaneously about two things. one is definitely a quote, the other is something more like an old saying. i felt a strong connection to the book “Perks of Being a Wallflower” so here is the quote you reminded me of…
    “It’s strange because sometimes, I read a book, and I think I am the people in the book.”
    ― Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower
    (i wish i could post the image of this in a comment, it is much like the one in your blog”

    the second thing you had me remembering is a phrase i love but have no idea where i found it. it relates to the idea of never dying if a writer falls in love with you.

    “We do not just die, we die twice. Once when our body dies and then forever the last time our name is spoken” something like that.

    also, i have started on a (maybe strange to most people) spiritual journey. i am growing/creating dreadlocks. i have been wearing synthetic extension and recently started making them for some extra cash and because i really love it. my first real ‘hobby’ and i just turned 39. i have always felt a spiritual connection to the universe in general but never identified with any kind of religion. not really. this journey with my hair goes beyond just vanity. it is the process that i hope to find peace and patience in. part of my mania is a very NOW NOW NOW need to do something with my appearance that has caught my attention. used to be that every year, about this time of year in the springtimeofmycrazy i would do what i called “my bipolar bangs”. i would cut my bangs to a super short fringe and i would LOVE it for about month and then spend the year growing them out promising myself i wouldn’t do it again. uh, yeah, nope. this year my bipolar said “i can do better than just some bangs!!! mwuahahhahaha!” and on easter sunday before i showered i shaved the right side of my head. this happened after an expensive impulse to go from black hair to red. so i have half a head of red hair with red extensions (and my first baby dread) and half a head of super short hair that i had to dye black because it all looked grey to me and terrible next to the red. i felt like this journey i have begun is my way of chasing the moon.

    so yeah.
    my morning has started with a lovely feeling of being understood and not so alone in my crazy. i too use my crazy as my superpower. the trauma that caused all the other acronyms in my psych file is clearly what has made me who i am and helped me be a better person than the ones who abused me. my horrible mother taught me what a mother is NOT and helped me raise a stellar young woman.

    thank you for sharing yourself so that i can “know” you and feel what i am feeling right now.

    Liked by 2 people

    • I’m glad you are no longer anonymous. It really helps me just as much as it does you to write my blog. I am definitely got to check out the book you referenced. I’m 38, we’ll 37 but it happens next month. I too have went from black to red, shaved my hair, and done some pretty off the wall things. You should see my entire back tattoo. Bipolar is a superpower but she can be a bit cheaper at times. I am sick of labels and acronyms too, now I just rant what’s on my mind. It’s usually true musings of a mad woman….sometime a bit psychosis mixed with whiskey. Not something I should do but I want to live my life and as long as my family is happy, I learned to coping mechanisms. It never ends but embrace your uniqueness. Remember we feel things so much deeper than the average person. We think fast, love deeper, dream the unthinkable, and sad we do feel sadness the same way. We are all in this together. I am so happy you shared your thoughts with me. I must say, I do have a somewhat delusional attachment to times before my time. I believe our soul are sometime given many lives. Sometimes when they are tired it results in people who are like us and we have a deep connect between the unknown, emotions, and finding ourselves. I finally realized this, and embracing and nurturing my tired soul with things I’m drawn to such as the 20’s, black and white moves, journals, correspondents, and just give my soul the peace it craves from a past life. You may have inspired a posting sweetheart. You are very special. Like my page over on Facebook and I’ll connect you with some great group. It’s on my blog. Do you mind if I write and reference your comment? It’s so pure and honest. I love it, thank you!

      Liked by 1 person

  7. i cannot even think of the words to explain what is going on in my brain and soul while and after reading this.
    *disclaimer* i suspect this will not be a short comment

    much of the time i am too manic or have too many things i need to do to really give the blogs i follow the attention i would like. i’ll admit it, sometimes i will only squeeze one in because the title gets my attention.
    this is where things started to get eerie while reading your post.
    i opened up my email and decided i was going to read at least one blog i follow everyday. with the goal being to keep up with them all eventually. i need to read more, like i used to. i used to spend hours and hours reading. i realized last night that being dependent on my iPad for my books and comics has started to add to my decrease in reading. i don’t have anything on it right now that i haven’t already read. i used to like re-reading things but since my lung disease diagnosis i have a different perspective on many things and one of the biggest is making the most of my time. so i want to only re-read my very favorites when they come calling wanting me to visit. so last night i skimmed my bookshelf after going through the few tangible comics i have (i had already read them on the damn ipad, i miss the feel and smell of a comic book, esp a new one) i have a whole shelf of poetry and i grabbed a compilation book of various themes and a slim book of love quotations just to have by the bed for when i’m too tired too really fill up and soak in some good poems.

    oh, the very first thing that really got my attention was the photo you posted at the top. i love it and it reminds me so much of my favorite painter, Jack Vetrianno. I can see that painted by him with a great Leonard Cohen song as the title.

    the other thing that REALLY got me was the fantasy of writers writing about you. it made me think simultaneously about two things. one is definitely a quote, the other is something more like an old saying. i felt a strong connection to the book “Perks of Being a Wallflower” so here is the quote you reminded me of…
    “It’s strange because sometimes, I read a book, and I think I am the people in the book.”
    ― Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower
    (i wish i could post the image of this in a comment, it is much like the one in your blog”

    the second thing you had me remembering is a phrase i love but have no idea where i found it. it relates to the idea of never dying if a writer falls in love with you.

    “We do not just die, we die twice. Once when our body dies and then forever the last time our name is spoken” something like that.

    also, i have started on a (maybe strange to most people) spiritual journey. i am growing/creating dreadlocks. i have been wearing synthetic extension and recently started making them for some extra cash and because i really love it. my first real ‘hobby’ and i just turned 39. i have always felt a spiritual connection to the universe in general but never identified with any kind of religion. not really. this journey with my hair goes beyond just vanity. it is the process that i hope to find peace and patience in. part of my mania is a very NOW NOW NOW need to do something with my appearance that has caught my attention. used to be that every year, about this time of year in the springtimeofmycrazy i would do what i called “my bipolar bangs”. i would cut my bangs to a super short fringe and i would LOVE it for about month and then spend the year growing them out promising myself i wouldn’t do it again. uh, yeah, nope. this year my bipolar said “i can do better than just some bangs!!! mwuahahhahaha!” and on easter sunday before i showered i shaved the right side of my head. this happened after an expensive impulse to go from black hair to red. so i have half a head of red hair with red extensions (and my first baby dread) and half a head of super short hair that i had to dye black because it all looked grey to me and terrible next to the red. i felt like this journey i have begun is my way of chasing the moon.

    so yeah.
    my morning has started with a lovely feeling of being understood and not so alone in my crazy. i too use my crazy as my superpower. the trauma that caused all the other acronyms in my psych file is clearly what has made me who i am and helped me be a better person than the ones who abused me. my horrible mother taught me what a mother is NOT and helped me raise a stellar young woman.

    thank you for sharing yourself so that i can “know” you and feel what i am feeling right now.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. i cannot even think of the words to explain what is going on in my brain and soul while and after reading this.
    *disclaimer* i suspect this will not be a short comment

    much of the time i am too manic or have too many things i need to do to really give the blogs i follow the attention i would like. i’ll admit it, sometimes i will only squeeze one in because the title gets my attention.
    this is where things started to get eerie while reading your post.
    i opened up my email and decided i was going to read at least one blog i follow everyday. with the goal being to keep up with them all eventually. i need to read more, like i used to. i used to spend hours and hours reading. i realized last night that being dependent on my iPad for my books and comics has started to add to my decrease in reading. i don’t have anything on it right now that i haven’t already read. i used to like re-reading things but since my lung disease diagnosis i have a different perspective on many things and one of the biggest is making the most of my time. so i want to only re-read my very favorites when they come calling wanting me to visit. so last night i skimmed my bookshelf after going through the few tangible comics i have (i had already read them on the damn ipad, i miss the feel and smell of a comic book, esp a new one) i have a whole shelf of poetry and i grabbed a compilation book of various themes and a slim book of love quotations just to have by the bed for when i’m too tired too really fill up and soak in some good poems.

    oh, the very first thing that really got my attention was the photo you posted at the top. i love it and it reminds me so much of my favorite painter, Jack Vetrianno. I can see that painted by him with a great Leonard Cohen song as the title.

    the other thing that REALLY got me was the fantasy of writers writing about you. it made me think simultaneously about two things. one is definitely a quote, the other is something more like an old saying. i felt a strong connection to the book “Perks of Being a Wallflower” so here is the quote you reminded me of…
    “It’s strange because sometimes, I read a book, and I think I am the people in the book.”
    ― Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower
    (i wish i could post the image of this in a comment, it is much like the one in your blog”

    the second thing you had me remembering is a phrase i love but have no idea where i found it. it relates to the idea of never dying if a writer falls in love with you.

    “We do not just die, we die twice. Once when our body dies and then forever the last time our name is spoken” something like that.

    also, i have started on a (maybe strange to most people) spiritual journey. i am growing/creating dreadlocks. i have been wearing synthetic extension and recently started making them for some extra cash and because i really love it. my first real ‘hobby’ and i just turned 39. i have always felt a spiritual connection to the universe in general but never identified with any kind of religion. not really. this journey with my hair goes beyond just vanity. it is the process that i hope to find peace and patience in. part of my mania is a very NOW NOW NOW need to do something with my appearance that has caught my attention. used to be that every year, about this time of year in the springtimeofmycrazy i would do what i called “my bipolar bangs”. i would cut my bangs to a super short fringe and i would LOVE it for about month and then spend the year growing them out promising myself i wouldn’t do it again. uh, yeah, nope. this year my bipolar said “i can do better than just some bangs!!! mwuahahhahaha!” and on easter sunday before i showered i shaved the right side of my head. this happened after an expensive impulse to go from black hair to red. so i have half a head of red hair with red extensions (and my first baby dread) and half a head of super short hair that i had to dye black because it all looked grey to me and terrible next to the red. i felt like this journey i have begun is my way of chasing the moon.

    so yeah.
    my morning has started with a lovely feeling of being understood and not so alone in my crazy. i too use my crazy as my superpower. the trauma that caused all the other acronyms in my psych file is clearly what has made me who i am and helped me be a better person than the ones who abused me. my horrible mother taught me what a mother is NOT and helped me raise a stellar young woman.

    thank you for sharing yourself so that i can “know” you and feel what i am feeling right now.

    Liked by 1 person

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