Yes I am obsessed with your blog!

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I found myself reading blogs like novels! Yes, probably your blog too. I may possibly be stalking you. *Maniacal laugh…… I do really like to read, expecially with my new medication (new doc, hahaha she gave a stimulate to a bipolar who was rapid cycling, I’m chasing squirrels right now) I can concentrate, until it ignites mania and then it’s back to mind numb forgetfulness. But I read a lot of blogs and yes I do love your blog. I think I’m going to start showcasing mental doppelganger bloggers of the week.

I read, heard a long time ago when you read books, papers, or articles you absorb a small part of that author. It really made me a bit picky about my choices in literature. Hemingway will always have my heart. He wrote with such conviction, blood emotion, and experience. I instantly feel in love with a dead man who suffered from the same mental flaw I am fighting. I never knew Hemingway was bipolar until recent years. Once I  reread his works with my new understanding of his mind it really explained my analysis and sometimes unorthodox synopsis of his stories. I read them with a bipolar mind and he wrote it with a bipolar mind. It really is beautiful to admire his beautiful mind. I don’t discount the darkness, He lived with sickness, Hemingway himself and put a shotgun in his mouth in his finest Chinese robe in his door hallway. He saw the sunrise one last time. He knew his story had ended and he was determined to write the ending, not a  sequel. He knew his ending which is a very sad statistic for those who are  diagnosed bipolar. 

It’s a bipolar thing, we like to write our endings. My challenge is to bring back the sequels. A story doesn’t have to end with the story book,  Prince meet princess and they have beautiful children and live long prosperous lives and die without regret, pain and have a long legacy. I can say with certainly those handsome narcissistic princes you meet along the way will always satisfy their needs even thought they have beautiful princesses. I’m around it everyday, it’s really sad the poor girls/guys who accepts the repeated infidelities of a narcissist, because they feel they have a trophy husband or trophy wife. I am sad for their delusion of happiness and infidelity. It’ll never stop, it’s a cycle. It makes me sick how many people live such a fake life or repeatedly try to reinvent and change their lives….until they get drunk again a cry to listening ears. Until they gey the attention from the assfish who circle them. Those people are DUMBASSES!

I am happy to admit I’m flawed, possibly worse than the abusive narcissist married to a dumbass. I love deeply and  I crave a happy ending. I love to satisfy emotional and physically. I am hurt very easily when my affections aren’t returned. Sometimes all you want is to be held, hugged, touched, and cuddled. It makes me so happy that I have someone who loves me, holds me, satisfies me, touches me, and holds me and I know they aren’t that narcissistic person or playing me a fool. They know all my demons and still love me.

I HOPE and pray sometimes I relay the true depection of the emotions of my mental health in words that help someone. The comments and messages I receive give me great hope you hear and share my musings.

I hope you love me because I’m writing a tragedy, but you know it ends a love story. It’s that crazy Nicolas Sparks novel! No one dies or gets sick, those books and movies are just full of heartbreak. I’m surrounded with heartbreak everyday right here on wordpress. Except I can interact with the characters, the real people and real stories. Unless your one of my fictional writers or poets. Then I’m probably just obsessed with your way with words. I love the poets!

I think eventually in a lifetime you get it right and your soul can rest.My soul needs to rest and this is my nutty story…….I love your blog!

Find me on Facebook:
http://www.facebook.com/Itsnotcrazytoday

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About Musings of a mad woman

“Mental labels don’t define who I am, time and aging only gets me closer to those I love, will love, and have loved” ~ S.L. Cato I’ve battle Bipolar disorder for at least 15+ years, toss in a couple more labels I’ve collected such as generalized anxiety disorder PTSD. This battle is pretty amazing and out of this world and at times a dark rollercoaster ride. The medication, the manic episodes, and mania can be pretty humorous. The hypersexuality, drugs, anxiety, depression, ghosts, and parenting. I’ve certainly felt the sting of the “crazy” stigma, but I’m here today. Bipolar is my superpower. I hope by sharing my musings it helps others understand the labels situation whispered behind closed doors. Please feel free to share my stories, rantings and musings. Read more about me in my post "Who is the Mad Woman"

69 responses »

  1. I hope you’re reading mine too!! Hee hee. 🙂 Seriously though, I really love your writing and style… you write from a place of such honesty, and with humour and wit. I’m sure your blog must help a lot of people who are experiencing similar struggles, and looking for inspiration. Thanks for sharing your journey with us!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Today is the happiest day of my life having no longer to worry about my medications as i have been cured of bipolar disorder. I used to have series of alternating periods of elation and depression for 11 years now. I could not live without my meds by my side until i saw a post of a man sent by God named Dr Zadson of how he cures bipolar disorder through his powerful spell and herbs. I contacted this Dr and i was told of the processes to follow and that i would get cured in less than 7 days and to my very greatest shock i got to the hospital and tested negative for the first time in 11 years and its been 4 months now and i have never taken a pill nor had an occurrence of the ailment and i thought it wise to write down the email of this great Dr via eduduzadsontemple@yahoo.com contact him today and also share this infro with your loved ones

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  3. I hope you’re reading my blog… I hope a lot of people run across my blog and stop for a little bit and read my beautiful rants. That and all of my blog titles are in Latin.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Hello and thank you for liking my post “Falling”, I appreciate you stopping by! I’m writing poetry and flash fiction so stop by any time! I’ll be keeping up with your blog as well – Much love Phoenix

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Glad You liked my Female centric article on my Entertainment blog https://multiscreenmotivision.wordpress.com

    . I have a few other blogs (crafts, Beauty, writing and one that’s random which is my personal main blog (that I don’t post to often but sometimes reblog from one of my other blogs)

    If you are interested (or anyone else reading this comment)
    I am looking for guest writers for all of the blogs especially the crafts and writing ones, You can find links to my blogs at the bottom of the above blog’s sidebar

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Hello you brave woman. I hope you are feeling ok today. I struggle with depression and anxiety. It can be exhausting. I’m glad you are putting yourself out there – you are helping people, and I’m betting yourself, by doing it. Shining a light on what it is like to live inside a mind that operates differently than most gives comfort to those in similar situations and educates those who are unfamiliar. The space you create offers validation and support and the opportunity for enlightenment and compassion. Keep it up.

    My happy ending is peace. There is no prince or potion or picture perfect finale I seek. I just want a comfortable life. I understand, to a degree, missing the “colors” and the excitement, for me the romance in my faulty thought patterns. I’m in the process of learning cognitive therapy and it has helped me more than anything else I have tried. I don’t know if you are in therapy or if it would be useful to you – hell you might have already looked into this method, but if not, it might be a great additional tool to put in your mental toolbox. It keeps eyeore at bay for me and moderates magical thinking. Let me know you want to know more about my experience with it. Otherwise and in general, the light in me bows to the light in you.

    Love and support,
    Heidi

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Why stop at Bipolar, go full our crazy like me. As my elderly Aunt used to day.” You have to laugh to keep from crying.” Thanks for reading my blog.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Thank you for reading and writing.

    My narcissist turned me into a narcissistic bipolar: oh my needs & feelings don’t count? well watch me find several people who disagree. I AM much happier now and sadder…but no longer angry.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I love your blogs at first sight! Hemingway is one of my faves. And I am reading the Letters of Sylvia Plath. Damn she’s a good writer! I feel like she’s my mental doppelganger. Except for her exit. I think she would want me to stick around … is that projecting much? LOL

    Liked by 1 person

  10. You have deleted your most recent post. I know because the link doesn’t work. I assume your reasons are right, but I am left rutterless in my consumption of your blog. Therefore I ask you to read mine because it has been a bad day and I have posted out of the blue.

    I hope you are well.

    Liked by 2 people

    • I’ll certainly pop over to read yours. My app had somehow deleted my entire story and only left one line. Obviously my blood app is a huge tease. Sadly the first draft was AMAZING, but the second is hopefully just as good. Thank you for being a loyal reader and I hope you share my stories too.

      Liked by 2 people

  11. “They know all my demons and still love me.” Yup, that hit home. Sometimes I think that my partner chose the craziest person to love and then I chuckle when I think: hey, that’s me! What can I say? We “get” each other. Thanks for sharing. -Dominique

    P.S I swear I keep pressing the follow button and yet everytime I visit your blog I’m still not following you! Ah, so frustrating. I’m fairly new to WordPress and (frequently) accidentally press things so if you see me show up and disappear every now and again it’s just my way of saying (re)hello!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. All you (alleged)bipolar boneheads need to bone up on your Hemingway. Hemingway wasn’t “bipolar”, any more than he was a Munchkin, or Leprechaun.
    He reported to his psychiatrist that the “FBI was tapping his phone, and he could hear the clicks on his phone”…. So his quack shrink said he was “paranoid”, and put him on heavy psych drugs, which damaged his brain. *THAT* is why he ate that fatal shotgun shell. Brain damage from negligently prescribed psych DRUGS. (Yes, it only came out years later, with FOIA requests, that the closeted, paranoid J.Edgar Hoover WAS tapping Hemingway’s phone, and with the phone tech of the time, Hemingway’s novelist ear could hear the primitive phone taps clicking. DO YOUR RESEARCH, before you listen to semi-educated idiots, and drug pushing quacks.) BTW, so-called “bipolar” is an imaginary disease, that exists solely to sell drugs, and maintain the power, prestige, and social control of the pseudoscientists known as “psychiatrists”. That the largest, single organized force AGAINST the lies of the pseudoscience known as “biopsychiatry” is a fabricated, pseudo-religion known as “Scientology” is only more proof of the fabricated, mythological nature of psychiatry.
    (c)2016, Tom Clancy, Jr., *NON-fiction

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  13. Pingback: Yes I am obsessed with your blog! – The Bipolar in me

  14. Felt as if you took off one of your high heels (don’t ask) and threw it through my laptop screen (of course…) missed, and then stayed shut up but your words screamed at my insignificance. I love the way you express yourself. Thanks

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  15. There are a lot of doctors that prescribe Adderall for Bipolar patients because our energy is low in a Depressive state and the side effects of most antidepressants is fatigue. I’m glad my doctor recognizes this. Without the stimulant I am drooling on the couch. I love “assfish”, it reminds me of my bestfriend who calls everyone “assclowns”! lol The pain of someone not returning your affections is something I know all too well. Keep doing what you’re doing we obviously all like it! My blog rarely has humor in it even though I’m an extremely silly person. I love 80’s and 90’s hair bands, everything Steven Tyler, movies, anything strangely grotesque but still beautiful, art, and I still want to live “back in the day”. We all have quirks that endears us to others.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Woohoo! Nothing is worse than the wrong meds! Thank God you’re only on something that revs you … I got one of the “black box” meds before it was black boxed. And it worked just as we now know it does. I’m blessed I knew it was the meds: otherwise something really bad could have happened. Live long and be you! Hugs!

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Have you read Hemingway’s A Movable Feast? You will (or probably do) love it! H. recalls the life of an artist in post WWI Paris. He describes his friendships with G. Stein, F.S. Fitzgerald, et al., and even presages his own death, by his own hand – but mostly, about his love of truth, and of pared-down, honest exposition, and of writing, story-telling, and of life-loving.
    It tickles me to ruminate that my stuff may be tickling you. It is a goodness.

    Liked by 2 people

  18. Also, I want to point out that “assfish” might be my new favorite insult ever. While I’m married with my own ADHD child (she’s not diagnosed yet because she’s three but I see it coming), I’m still writing my story as I go along, mostly making it up as I go. I never saw myself as a wife or mother and I’m still learning to be those things.

    Liked by 2 people

  19. I just want you to know that I just started following you, after you stalked my blog ;), and I’m absolutely in love with it and you! I am diagnosed with Persistent Depression with Anxiety, ADHD, and PTSD. I think we should be BFF’s!
    -Amanda

    Liked by 3 people

    • I chuckled just a bit Amanda. It’s funny, because like I’ve written about in my post “who is the mad woman” I have this crazy memory and I remember avatars and blog names. I remember your blog because you had reviewed some of my favorite authors who write on anxiety and depression though humor and life lessons. I’m very glad you found my blog. If anything you’ll probably learn how my mind cycles and some of my coping mechanism. Maybe like I wrote in the post you take a small piece of me with you. Thank you my friend and we could be BFF’S but I’ll warn you I suck and already cancelled our plans probably to squirrel away and take apart a toaster 😉

      Liked by 3 people

  20. First of all – aaaaargh!! I thought you were obsessed with my blog!! lol!
    I did not know Hemingway was bipolar… Interesting indeed…

    Well… you write really well. So, write a happy ending

    Liked by 3 people

  21. I suspect all blogs tell a story. Thanks for visiting and reading mine. And thanks for sharing your story without erasing any part of it or you. That’s something we could all learn to do better.

    Liked by 3 people

  22. In my opinion, tragic novels offer the best slap, in-your-face, picture of life. Not everyone gets their happily ever after, especially if it’s with a narcissist partner. No matter how physically attractive a couple look together, there will always be something wrong with them. And that’s the fact of life. My husband calls it: “the balance of nature.”

    Best thing to do is to accept it and do something about it. Like in our case and Hemingway’s, writing it down. Sharing it to the world. This is how we see things. This is what we think of life.

    When I started my therapy sessions, I was afraid that I might loose my dark side. Because if I do, I won’t have anything to write about anymore. Then I realized that I did not go to therapy to forget or erase that part. Instead, I need to finally accept that it’s part of me, that it will never go away. The fact that it’s part of me, means that I am the only one who can share my story. I can write the sh*t hell I’ve put up with (plus with fictional church choir singing a metallic rock song), and I am still going to be okay.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Part of the reason I hate when people say ‘they would look so cute together’! Those end up in a firey crash more than not. To me, therapy isn’t to forget your bad past or disorder or whatever. It’s to accept and either move on or embrace. You decided to embrace it. As have I. Wait, church choir singing a metallic rock song… okay, I can dig it! Haha!

      Liked by 2 people

  23. I feel like we have a bit in common.

    My doctor put me on a stimulant recently while I was in a depressive swing (he didn’t give it to me for that reason). Now I’m in a really confused space where I’m getting ALLTHETHINGS done, but then I cry. I’m not sure this is a rollercoaster now so much as a tilt-a-whirl.

    I had absolutely no idea Hemingway was bipolar. That makes some things in my life make sense.

    Liked by 3 people

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