The mysterious case of the blood spots

  I’ve spent the better part of my day trying to figure out a mystery just to remember i’m “nuts.” As I walked down my staircase I noticed spots on the carpet. There were a couple big ones and more tiny like a splatter or drip of a reddish brown color. Immediately, I go into “Who’s bleeding?” mode. Kids were at school so if one of them had hide an injury from me they did a great job. So then I check the dog and no sign of anything. So I went in search of the crazy cat. She probably ran into the wall and busted her nose. In my head, I was convinced the cat had hurt herself in a manic rage. Fun part was finding where she chose to hide from me. I found her safe and sound chewing up my phone charger. She wasn’t hurt but I wanted to hurt her. So now it’s a a real mystery. Who was bleeding at the foot of my staircase?

Now my mind is different than that of a normal person. Now, I’m getting paranoid, in my head I ask, “Is one of my kids having nose bleeds and hiding it from me? Oh my god, is it an undiagnosed brain tumor?” Racing thoughts continue, “Was someone in the house, got hurt and ran before being caught?” Just as I was convinced someone was hurt, or worse dying the kids come through the door. I rush them both with the third degree interrogation. No injuries, no bleeding whatsoever. Then out of my daughter’s mouth, “Mom, that’s spilled red wine! I know what blood looks like and that’s wine.”

Three thoughts on myself crossed my mind immediately. First, “you are batshit crazy” second, “did you really see spots and assume blood, death, and cancer?” Lastly, I remembered last night deciding I’d relax and escape the living room couch, lay in bed and read…..and yes with a glass of beautiful red wine. What I forgot is the stumble from the sniper attack to my feet. The the black cat of the darkness, Trubul had lunged at me and unknowingly in the dark the spill occured.

Mystery solved, touche cat. “Why the hell didn’t you remind me earlier when I asked you cat!?!??” Guess you were too busy trying to kill yourself chewing wires.


21 thoughts on “The mysterious case of the blood spots

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  1. Haha! I loved the talking to cats part – I often ask mine to give me the key to his nonchalance but then he just gives me a nonchalant look and buggers off in search of food!

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  2. I think this post is really funny especially where you confront the cat! I am also totally paranoid (OCD) but the strange thing is I am not paranoid about my health at all. It is all centred on my house, serial killers getting into my house, forgetting to lock the door and the house being burgled. When I had a dizzy spell for four hours the other day and couldn’t walk or drive and the room was spinning around I just thought – I’ll be fine I just need to go to bed. My doctor said I needed to go to the Emergency Room which I thought was quite unnecessary. After being seen by the nurse I couldn’t be bothered to wait for a doctor and left! But my behaviour around locks is still pretty paranoid!

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    1. Well, the serial killers getting in bit is kinda about your health… I know what you mean, though! I have a bit of paranoia, but not for my health. Mostly about my past happening again. And, for some reason, cleaning my house. I can go outside and play in mud, but if one bit of that mud gets on the floor, the world will end!

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  3. Oh my goodness, paranoia much? hehehehe, I get it, I’m the same! when I’m looking for my keys, I will keep on looking even if it means I’m late rather than take the spares, because I have to know what happened to the frikn keys!!

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  4. Wait… Should you be worried about how your daughter can tell the difference between wine and blood? I mean, if you knew and taught her, that’s different. But you couldn’t even tell? My cat used to do the same thing. Chewing on wires! Stupid cat!

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  5. “Why the hell didn’t you remind me earlier when I asked you cat!?!??” – I love this! The whole story made me chuckle, being crazy has its (many) downsides, but sometimes it really is just a lot more interesting.

    Liked by 1 person

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